You don't know how long I have waited

So last season on American Idol (the first one I really watched) I liked Carrie Underwood from her audition. I actually liked her from the commercials they showed of her audition long before her episode ever aired.

My favorite Carrie song was when she sang Alone by Heart. I was alive in the 80's (well, starting towards the end of '81) and I vaguely remember their songs. Hearing Carrie sing Alone certainly wasn't my first time, but she rocked it so well that I fell in love with the song.

It came on my DJ (the Dell equivalent of an iPod) this morning as I was driving to school and I heard a part that I had never thought about before, yet it sums up my feelings exactly:

Til now, I always got by on my own
I never really cared until I met you
But now it chills me to the bone

I posted something along these lines awhile back, but I have never had a boyfriend. I had the whole sixth-grade "We're going out" and never talk to each other experience, but nothing really since I was old enough to have an actual relationship involving real emotions (not to mention physical experiences). A lot of people think it's utterly insane, but really, I am ok. Better than ok- I can honestly say that I love who I am. Like your average woman I'd like to eat healthier and take better care of my body, read more books, fall more in love with Jesus, be a more dependable friend, and to overall just become a better at loving people. But overall, I like who I am. How many people can honestly say that there's no one else in the world they'd rather be?

With that said, I am all the more reminded that I am content with life now. But someday I know I will meet that guy that makes me realize I never really cared about being alone until he happened. Then the thought of life without him will seem cold and empty. In my youth, brimming with foolishness (yes, even as recently as two years ago), I thought I had met "the one" once or twice and staked much of my life on convincing him that I was amazing and all he ever needed or wanted. Yet looking back neither of those guys could ever hold a candle to all that I know my man will be.

It's still a fun msytery to me... will he be funny? I sure hope so. But will it be dry wit? Sarcastic but charming? Will he be tall? I REALLY hope so. At least 6'2" ;) What kind of music will he like? Will he think I am funny? Ok, that one's ridiculous because everyone knows I am hilarious. What will his spiritual gifts be? Will he love sports? Well, he has to. That's a requirement. I could never be with a guy whose dream date doesn't include something along the lines of watching the game, be it at home or live in an arena/on a field/ in a stadium, whatever. But will he be able to sing? What kind of father will he be? What color will his eyes be? Will he be the kind of guy that everyone loves, or more aloof? I am pretty sure he'll be the former because I just can't see myself with a guy that's not more amiable and gregarious than I am... though I suppose that's tough to match ;) I think he'll be the kind that's comfortable enough in his own skin to always put people at ease, to just relax in his company. Not necessarily raucous like me!

Anyway... that's a fun game. I assume he's alive, being that if he's not I will be 24 years his senior. Ewww! I am all about the five-year rule- he has to be within either five over or five under, so he can range from current ages of 19-29. Tom Brady barely makes the cut on that one! He'll be 29 in August. I hate that I know that. Not really. Anyway, still... I am excited for the day when I can look him in his eyes and say, "You know, I always did all right, just me and God. It never really mattered that much that I was, in essence, alone. Then I met you and knew that you were him, "the one", my ineffable joy. I have not been, and never will be, the same again. I love you, baby."

I hope his love language is words of affirmation because I'll be all over that ;) In case you are like, "What the h is a love language?", other than the name itself being semi self-explanatory, check this out: The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman

Ok. This was mushy, right? I know. But it was on my mind, and since it's my blog... well, you get the idea. So there you have it.

P.S. Glycerine by Bush = another good song