Accursed Curse

Eve is not on my good list today.

Remember that whole incident with the crafty serpent in the garden? And then the subsequent child-bearing consequences including, but not limited to, menstruation?

Thanks to her weak moment of character I get to suffer.

I have been in a horrible mood since Sunday. You know the bad moods where you are frustrated but deep down you don't want to be that way and you make the conscious effort to be more kind and obliging and all things sweet? Well I don't feel that way.

Rather, I have that jolly good attitude where you hate everyone and everything and you have zero desire to get over it. Pious Christians always say that hormones are no excuse and that women need to be just as servant hearted when PMS'ing. You know what? They can bite me.

As Becky so eloquently pointed out, there's a reason why women were sent outside the camp for a week every month in the Old Testament- the Bible says they were unclean, but we all know the real reason is that no one wanted to deal with grouchy, snappy, hormonal women.

Ladies, you know what I am talking about- commercials make you cry. Not being able to tear your frozen turkey burgers apart to go grill one feels like the end of the world. When whoever you live with asks how your day was you are convinced they are part of the conspiracy to ruin your life. Every step on a set of stairs causes sharp bursts of pain to explode in your tender and sore breasts.

The worst part? This is PRE-menstrual syndrome. At this point you haven't even started cramping and bleeding yet. That's next week.

If I run into Eve in Heaven one day it's a good thing that I will have discarded this sinful human flesh I now inhabit. Otherwise I'd probably allow her face to make stinging acquaintance with my right hand.

Yeah, that's right- I'd whip up on Eve. I said it. Bite me.

I told you I had PMS.