Tis the season, right?

*sigh*

I feel kind of like a jerk.

The roommates went out tonight and got a tree. They asked if I was ok with it, and I said sure. I don't have a problem with it. I just struggle to get hyped about Christmas.

I am not one of those Christians that doesn't "do" Christmas. I just feel drained during the season. It feels like it has nothing to do with Jesus anymore. When you're a kid it's all right because you look forward to presents, but as an adult it's hard. I see a nation where it's politically incorrect to say "Merry Christmas" and everything's about the "Holidays" and the "Season".

Not to mention that it's hard to get excited about a season that's all about family when mine's 3,000 miles away. And even if I somehow got lots of great presents that can't replace the meaning of being at home with the family. I don't mean to say that I am not grateful for the chance to go Becca's (a roomie from upstate NY) and I am so blessed that her family would welcome in a stranger. It's just hard to get excited about a "season" that has nothing to do with my Lord's birth especially when I can't share it with my own family.

I look forward to having my own family some day. We can still enjoy decorating and presents and cookies, but the holiday will be solidly based on how the Lord and Master of our home came into the world. He won't be the afterthought, or the one pushed to the backburner. He'll be at the forefront and the gifts and such will be extras. But for now I'll try to tell my roommates that the tree is really pretty, and even let myself enjoy it. I am sure it will be pretty enough. And it already smells nice.

I just hope they don't ask me to pay for it ;)