Time to face the truth

Travelling reveals the truth in a person.

Tear away the mundane daily life, the extravagant moments, the hopes and desires for what could be, and go somewhere. See different places, new people, the great and the small. Then, set yourself on the road home.

I completely revamped my facebook profile tonight. Here's what I wrote for part of it, in the About Me section:

Te*ach for Ame*rica...
What I am doing is totally necessary and worthwhile (teaching impoverished, majority African-American, and tragically undereducated students) but can I do this forever? Is it totally selfish and wrong to admit that what I really want is to settle with my middle-class husband and 2.5 kids in the suburbs someday? With someday being preferably sooner than later?

And I really meant it. Being in upstate NY, and now Cleveland, is showing me that I am not really happy with my NC life. Miserable? No. But I am not sure that the five years at WC*HS thing is going to work. I'm aiming for three right now. And maybe next year (or next semester even) I will fall in love with my life. But I dread the thought of getting in Becca's car on Saturday and going back there. And it's not just because I think I need to be filthy rich and not have to work ; )

The fact is, whenever I went on a trip my favorite part was always going home, and no matter how amazing the trip was (and let's admit, I've had some incredible ones) I always loved getting back to Spokane. That stretch where, if you are on I-90 headed east, you first go start the descent into Spokane with the city laid out before you always gave me a warm comfort inside and I could rest knowing I was home.

Now, the truth I have to face is that I don't feel that way about NC. Is being there a mistake? No. This time in my life has it's purpose and I have no regrets. But it's not home. Nor is the issue going back to Spokane- that's not what I sense is the answer either. The pull to New England is ever stronger. Probably because the Lord's plan for me is to marry Tom Brady I jest... but in all seriousness, this trip has been a revelation.

I have looked truth in the eyes and beheld both its beauty and its scars. From here I can only pray and trust my God to make clear the path before me as the days unfold into months and years. Facing the truth was easy. Now it's simply how to live it out. Many decisions lie in wait...