I'll stay with you-- walls will fall before we do

[Stay With You, Goo Goo Dolls]

Sometimes my song lyrics in my posts are utterly random. Sometimes they are quite intentional. The lyrics to this entry are of the latter.

This is a tribute to my friends.

I was thinking tonight about what makes someone a friend. When you think about it, we each come across millions of people in our lifetimes. What is it that causes some of us to become bonded for life, while others simply continue to head down another path?

At the end of the day, I realize that I am blessed. For whatever reason, God has allowed the most incredible people to be a part of my life. Not only that, but I get the blessing of sharing in their lives. Names and faces jump to mind... childhood friends, high school friends, college friends, church friends, TF*A friends... people from each phase of my life. It's amazing that I have people in my life that I've known for nearly 25 years- my ENTIRE LIFE- that still love me and are excited to know me still. People that have seen me at my absolute worst and yet they continue to love me.

These friends are people that love me even though they know my faults and shortcomings. They see my talents and have experienced the blessings that come along with my character and personality and yet I know they wouldn't love me even a minute fraction less were those "good" parts of me to disappear. We've been through the dark times together; we've been in the valleys, we've climbed the mountains, and we've enjoyed the exhiliration of the highs that come at the top.

Scriptures jump to mind-

... as iron sharpens iron, a friend sharpens the countenance of his friend (Proverbs 27:17)

... the heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense (Proverbs 27:9)

... there are "friends" who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother (Proverbs 18:24)

... wounds from a friend are better than many kisses from an enemy (Proverbs 27:6)


I have amazing friends that challenge me and push me to be all that I can be- both as a woman and as a child of God. They support me and refuse to let me remain the same. They counsel me, they are loyal, and they say the hard words even when that's not what I want to hear. Sometimes, I slip up because I am human, and I hurt them. Sometimes- because they, too, are human- my friends hurt me. But because many of us are united in Christ, we forgive one another and let bygones be bygones.

Proverbs 9:11 says, " A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense." We are wise enough to be patient with one another; I've learned the hard way that it's of great detriment to any relationship if those involved can't overlook offenses. Relationships in college primarily took me around the ringer on that [painful] lesson!

Jesus Christ is truly my best friend, the lover of my soul, and the one my identity rests in. No matter what anyone says, His is the only opinion of me that matters. He tells me I am precious; I am a daughter of the King; He delights in me; one glance of my eyes ravishes His heart. I have denied Christ full access to my heart and soul and in essence "offended" Him far more than any single person in my life, yet His response is always to take me back with open arms. He loves me with unconditional love- agape love- and in the stillness of my heart I rest in Him.

Even if no one ever thought I was funny again, if everyone told me I was a horrible writer, that I was ugly and fat and stank, if people said I had a terrible singing voice, if everyone said I had never done a single thing of worth in this lifetime, that I was a worthless teacher, and if every single friend preferred someone other than me I would still have peace in who Jesus Christ says I am because that is all that matters. Granted, if everyone in the world said I was a horrible person and unbearable to be around you'd have to assume that if EVERYONE was saying it then there must be some element of truth; I'd certainly have some work cut out for me in being the love of Christ to the world. But that will never happen because despite my imperfections I know my heart is always to love others and to be as Christlike as possible in their lives.

A friend said something to me awhile back that blessed me beyond words; I'm not saying who it was because they know who they are. But I want to share it because it's an example of the amazing people God has chosen to weave into the tapestry that is my life:

I have had a small handful of friends in this lifetime who continuously and consistently amaze me with their growth, attitude, and humility -- the kind of person who always or almost always performs above my expectations, beyond what I give him or her credit for. You are one of those friends. You are so much more mature than the Tami I knew even a year and a half ago that it humbles me, and I feel blessed beyond words that you choose to make me a part of your life. Thanks Tam. I love you, hermana.

I am blessed.

To my friends, particularly those of you that I know in "real" life beyond the internet-- whether I say it enough or not, I love you. It is a theme in my life to consistently thank my God upon every remembrance of you, and I know that God will continue the work He has begun in every single one of you until it is brought to fruition upon Christ's return. This is truth.

Greater love [agape] has no one than this- that they lay down their life [psuche- mind, will, and emotion] for their friends. I pray that I would always set aside my thoughts, my desires, and my feelings in order to show each of you my love. And in those times that I don't, I pray I would be quick to humble myself before you and seek your forgiveness.

Finally, I pray we would all live our lives as defined by these immortal words of Jim Elliot:

He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.