So many things that I wanna say

[Your Love, The Outfield]

I just wrote this e-mail to the Sports Guy (Bill Simmons. ESPN.com. Page 2. If you don't already know that I don't know why I'm friends with you.)

So, Bill, I kind of hate Skip Bayless. He has a knack for ripping my favorite sports teams to shreds (namely the Seahawks, and then Ammo when he was still playing for Gonzaga).

I've loved the 'Hawks since I was a little girl. I was barely a year and a half old when they were shut out of the Superbowl by the Raiders in '83. They sucked basically throughout my entire childhood... and teenage years... and early twenties. Hopefully we're on an upward trend now. But the point is, I love them and always have, even when they sucked. So Skip really hit a nerve when he pulled his high and mighty complex crap and essentially called them worthless last winter.

Then there's Gonzaga. I. LOVE. GONZAGA. Loving them is like having a boyfriend that will rip my heart to pieces and crush my spirit every March. And yet I live for every November when he comes back into my life with such promise-- I just KNOW that it will be different this time. Skip was treading on very sacred ground when he discounted my boy Ammo (you GOTTA know what that stands for... even if you don't,who else could I mean?) saying that he wouldn't be hyped if he were black. Grrr.

So... these things have stewed in my overanalystic mind for months. Lord only knows the things he's probably said about the Mariners, Red Sox, and Patriots. (Yes. I love Seattle and Boston teams. Weird. But true.) I (secretly) hope Skip's on your list of ESPN'ers you'd (secretly) like to fight.

Can ya give me some advice on how to get him fired?

Oh, and some advice on how to convince Tony Reali to marry me?

;)

***

I know, I'm awesome. I hope he replies to it in his next Mailbag installment.

And I was wrong... I was barely a year and one quarter when the 'Hawks lost to the LA Raiders in '83. My bad.