Excuse me while I hang myself.

Ok, worry not- I have zero plans to kill myself. But I just read a bulletin on MySpace. The criteria? Put an X by the things that apply to you, then multiply the X's by 5, and that shows you how "white" you are.

Some might roll their eyes and/or laugh this off... it simply sickens me. Read the following that supposedly make you "white".

1. You went to a private school.
2. You watch the show Laguna Beach.
3. You watch the show American Idol.
4. You watch the show O.C
5. You don`t cheat on almost anything in school.
6. You live in the suburbs.
7. You know what a poncho is.
8. You have heard a song from Panic! At The Disco.
9. You shop at American Eagle/Aeropostale/Hollister/A&F
10. You have/had a dog that is NOT a pitbull.
11. You have owned more than 1 dog.
12. You bend the bill of your hat.
13. You own a pair of DC`s/etnies/vans.
14. You would get jumped if you said the "N" word.
15. You have lived in more than one house.
16. Your neighborhood is considered to be very nice.
17. You have nice hair.
18. You say the word DUDE a lot.
19. Your mom went to college.
20. You think cops are good.
21. You have absolutely no idea what twista is saying when he raps.
22. You have or have had a river/beach house.
23. You listen to rock.
24. You know who willie nelson is.
25. Your grandparents are over the age of 60.
26. Your parents give you money when you ask.

I don't even know where to begin with how horrific that is.
16, 17, & 19 are particularly horrifying.

Plus, assuming a white person wrote this... um, 26 x 5 = 130.

130%?

Regardless, not only is this sickening in and of itself, but the fact that people actually fill it out and pass it on makes me ill. I can't even find words to explain how angry and depressed I feel all at once.

This- THIS- is why I teach.