Just one more day - one more day

[A Little More, Skillet]

Two things:

1) I have a conference this weekend for new teachers at the beach. It will be my first time seeing the actual Atlantic Ocean (well, I saw it when I went to Boston from plane, but that doesn't count). I've seen/been to the Gulf of Mexico along most of the Gulf Coast, and I've seen/been to the Caribbean from Honduras, but not the actual, technical Atlantic Ocean. So this will be happy :)

2) I have recently been able to really get in better touch with a friend named Melissa. Our moms were pregnant with us together and were best friends then, so we were raised pretty much like sisters. She's amazing and I was disheartened that we totally fell out of touch in college. But in the last few months we've been able to really reconnect.

I mentioned (ok, overanalyzed- come on, this is ME we're talking about. Long-winded, detail oriented, and analytical sometimes to a fault) how interesting it was that we were so competitive and such when we were younger. It was spurred in a lot of ways from being raised so close and being like sisters. I said her name at 18 months old :) But I was always trying to be smarter and better at things than her, and vice versa. She always beat me in the smart department- the woman is brilliant!

Anyway, she wrote something back that was up there for the most meaningful things anyone has ever said to me, and I want to share it with y'all.

I was always so jealous of the friends you had - you had/have so much natural energy and sparkle and charisma that people were/are drawn to you. (As a side note, I can't wait to see/hear about which wonderful guy is pulled in by those God-given traits and vows he must make you his wife.)

It meant tons even without the part about the guy at the end- just the part about energy/sparkle/charisma smarted my eyes a little. What meaningful words. It really blessed me.

I actually have to add a third thing here, since I was thinking about how I AM so stinking analytical. So...

3) There's this guy that I had a huge crush on in high school (and a bit of my frosh year of college before I wisened up and let go) and I had pretty much forgotten that he existed, to be honest. Then I stumbled across him on myspace, and I always admired him as a friend regardless of my foolish heart in those days. I was so excited and added him as a friend and sent him a big, "Oh, happy day!!" message.

Presumptuous me assumed he'd be just as amped and add me / write back right away. I am that way with people that I haven't seen for 5-6 years because it's just so exciting to me to hear where they're at in life now. But... he didn't respond. Hasn't yet. It's been a few days. So then I, of course, overanalyze.

"Is he just really busy? Maybe just doesn't have time to respond fully so he's putting it off until he can?" "Maybe he doesn't actually recognize me and thinks I am some random psycho pretending to know him... it does say I live in North Carolina now... that is probably pretty misleading." "Oh, I bet he is just like 'She was so annoying when she had a crush on me- NO WAY am I picking up contact with her.' " "He probably just is like, 'Oh, yeah. That girl. Um... I'll get around to it.'" "Maybe it's the whole, 'Don't seem to desperate for friends and add her right away. Like the whole never-answer-the-phone-on-the-first-ring thing.' Oh, or maybe it's the don't-seem-too-into-myspace thing, like you have nothing better to do with your life than be on the internet."

Honestly. Can I just NOT BE A TOOL FOR ONCE? He was a fun guy. I'd love to reconnect. If not, why be so ridiculously retarded about the whole thing? If he writes back, wonderful. If not, my life was perfectly fine until I came across his profile so I am sure I'll still be perfectly fine. It's not like I don't have a quadrillion friends that I keep up with from home already, not to mention everyone here (and not to mention my students!). So hopefully I will just let it go.

Here's to hope, eh? If not, I seriously am going to join overanalyzers anonymous. I'm sure Brittney and/or Becca know where the good meetings are.

"My name is Tami Hii'mawesome and I am an overanalyzer."