Leave me alone stupid love songs

[So Sick, Ne Yo]

What a day. It was a teacher workday but there were parent conferences which meant that I sat in my room while parents stopped in. Ok, I almost never sat- I rearranged my whole classroom. We now have groups of four instead of rows. It took for-ev-ver (say it like the boy on The Sandlot) to get them to all fit and for the most part everyone can see the front of the room with no problems. I worked without pause- literally- from 8:30 to 3:15 then rushed off to get my hair cut and eyebrows waxed (both make me feel SO MUCH better about life). Anyway...

I am making a bunch of changes to my teaching. For example, each day I will have 2-3 EQ's (Essential Questions) for my kids. The teaching will be centered on them, and they'll be based on that day's objective per the North Carolina Sta*ndard Cour*se of Study- the equivalent of Washington's EALR's. This will help my kids be able to grasp exactly what I expect them to know by the end of the period. Ambiguity is a bad thing in teaching. Plus I am going to give short (10-20 question) quizzes every Friday instead of big unit tests because it's just too much stinking information for them to try to remember. I mean, the Renaissance and Reformation (including the Protestant, English, and Catholic Reformations) was all one objective of eight in a time period covering everything from Ghengis Kahn to Colonialism. Yah. And, once again, anyway...

One fan-frieking-tastically cool thing is that the class with the highest percentages of kids meeting their big goal (typically around 90% of the class earning an A or B, and then 90-100% of the class getting an 80% or higher on their final exam, which is tracked by their weekly quizzes) will get a DDR/Karaoke/Dessert party at the end of April. Then I'll do it again at the end of May. Mostly cheap, except for the cost of some cookies and a cake or something. Then, for everyone that gets an A (not easy but not impossible by any means) I am going to have a big party at my [gorgeous] house, so they can play pool, eat some Northwest style barbecue, watch the huge-screen TV (it's beyond big!), swim (it'll be June and I live in the south so it'll be plenty warm), DDR, karaoke, kayak, whatever. I'll invite some parents to be chaperones, but it should be pretty awesome. We'll see how they react Monday... I've been pushing it as a big mystery surprise all week. They were ready to kill me for want of knowing the mystery but I don't crack under pressure :) I am actually inciting my roommates to help me make a video with my camcorder of all the awesome opportunities to have fun here at the house tomorrow, and then I'll burn a DVD to show my kids on Monday.

Speaking of my kids... so when they told me in third period that I need a man, two boys were volunteering to be "my man" for me. I told them I was just fine, thank you very much, but I never take them too seriously. I have, however, wished I could just lie and tell them I have a boyfriend so they'll leave me alone. There were parent conferences Thursday night so I wore make-up and straightened my hair. I can't lie- I looked really cute. But ALL DAY LONG I had to hear about it. "Ms. T*K! I didn't recognize you", "OOOhh, Ms. T*K's trying to get herself a MAA-AAAN", "Ms. T*K, you look so pretty that I just can't concentrate on my work."... and on and on. So most of this was lighthearted and funny.

And then... then there was fourth block. I realized that one of my students is completely in love with me. I always make tons of eye contact as I am teaching, and I noticed that every time I looked at him he blushed and looked away. Then, I had them do a midterm survey- what's working for you, what can I do better, what do you need to improve on, etc- and he basically said I couldn't be more perfect and that he "only hopes [I'm his] U.S. History teacher". Plus he introduced me to his mom as his favorite teacher. So all that with the blushing suddenly clicked and I realized he has a huge crush on me. He's a sweet kid and one of my best students, and totally safe, so he can crush all he wants to.

It's funny though- he's TOTALLY different from the silly boys in my third period class that were like, "Who is that guy? Is he your boyfriend? Because I thought I was your boyfriend!" when my fellow T**F*A friend Peter came in to observe me around a month ago. Only that caught me SO off guard that I was the one blushing and totally flushed as I tried to teach.

Well... this somehow became a novel. And it's after midnight which will totally screw over my sleep schedule- yeah, I actually get up before nine on Saturday's on purpose, to regulate my internal clock so I sleep well. Dang growing up, anyway. Happy April! And no, none of the above was an April Fool's joke. Um, and PS- holy crapoli, I just realized that I am going to tour D.C. and then BOSTON in two and a half weeks! Yesssss! (Do it like Kip after he gets a strike while bowling with Uncle Rico on Napoleon Dynamite...)

That's Petey. I commented that he had mistletoe on his shirt, he insisted I kiss him, I refused, he kissed my cheek, I about died of humiliation. Never been kissed, remember? And don't worry, we're totally just friends. I told some girls in fourth period that I am not looking for a man, but if one finds me I need a man that loves Jesus, not beer. :)

With you I can let my hair down

[With You, Jessica Simpson]

So my new thing is watching Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica. Ironic, I know, because they're divorcing, but I'd never watched it when it was on and I wanted a show. Yay for Netflix.

They're interesting... he's a bit of a player, but I honestly think she just seems like a spoiled brat. I like her less and less and him more and more. Chalk me up for one Team Nick shirt :) Actually, What's Left of Me is a pretty great song. Too bad his wife slept with her movie costars. That's not cool. And, uh, not the best witness from the Christian girl. The spoiled rotten Christian girl.

I sure hope I won't be like that when I am married... pouty and whiny and witchy. Yuck. Picking fights, etc. Yuck again. That's just not the way I roll.

Speaking of... I've been thinking about marriage. Such a curious thing. I am not ready to be married. Not even a little. And I don't ruh-eally want a boyfriend. But it's been on my mind a lot lately. And no, I haven't met anyone. Not even close. It's just been this thing I keep coming back to. Plus, out of nowhere two of three classes told me today that I need a man and/or a boyfriend. Uh, yeah. What the heck? Does this mean something? I dunno.

Nick Lachey's on the market, so...

This is how a heart breaks

[This is how a Heart Breaks, Rob Thomas]

Last night there were no tears.

It was shock. Disbelief. I went to my bed and in the quiet and dark obsessed over the final three minutes of the game. How did we not score possession after possession?

Then the what ifs... What if Raivio had hit that three? What if Morrison had made that jump shot? What if Batista had gotten the call when they stripped the ball? What if Knight hadn't fouled out? What if...

What if we hadn't lost.

I didn't sleep well. You can say it's just a game but I love it. Love the sound of sneakers squeaking and balls thudding off the floor quickens my heart. Shaggy haired college boys (and bald ones- always gotta have love for the shaved heads too) putting an orange ball through a skinny little rim puts a smile on my face... and much yelling into my throat. So when the team of my heart loses... it's a major let down.

How do you lose a game that you were up in by 17 and dominated the entire time? How does the team that sucked it up all night score the last 11 points, going from down by 9 to winning by two? How does the team in major foul trouble have no one foul out and the team with almost no foul trouble have a key player foul out? How does someone like Adam Morrison miss a shot that he hits 95 out of 100 times?

Watching Ammo laying at center court sobbing last night just caused me to stare blankly ahead, absolutely stunned. Driving to school I was somber but empty. Then... reading the stories, seeing the main page of ESPN, the cover of the Spokesman at home... *sigh*

Loving Gonzaga is like loving a boyfriend that will cheat on me. Yet I can never turn away. Right now my heart is a thrashed mess barely palpitating on the floor. In November I will excitedly tune into every game possible and be excited like it's the first time I've ever seen them play (with or without Ammo). Come March they will likely crush my spirit again.

Sometimes life is just like that.

Don't stop believin'

[Don't Stop Believin', Journey]

Both Washingtonian teams are in the Sweet 16!!

How sweet it is, baby; how sweet it is ;)

Will you take what's left of me?

[What's Left of Me - Nick Lachey]

Tomorrow we truly begin the Big Dance. Yeah, some no-name Monmouth/Hampton game went down, but it doesn't count. In 24 hours I'll know if my beloved Zags passed the first round. If we don't make it past the second round I will throw myself off a cliff.

Ok, not really. I am melodramatic.

Sometimes, however, my life does have real drama. An issue heavy on my heart as of late has been love lost. Not romantic love, but the love of (from and for) a sibling. There used to be a friend in my life that was like the brother I never had, but somewhere along the line he decided I'm not worth loving anymore. Painful enough to deal with, but I'm ok. Sometimes that's just life.

Funny how you can lose someone so important and find that the gaping whole left has somehow become mostly filled, slowly but surely, by a different somebody. I am grateful, because this one was a pretty tough fit to morph into, but I am blessed with incredible people like that in my life.

So this incredibly morphing chamo of mine and I had a wonderful conversation last night. Part of it included discussion about love and such. I became such a stickler to this whole "Never date ever" philosophy, and was convinced that it was for everyone because it was for me. I have slowly been deciding that maybe that's not so. The fact is, sometimes you have to make mistakes to learn lessons about issues you never would have had to even deal with before. The issues were always there, but can you truly learn to be selfless in love when you've never had the opportunity to be selfish?

Some people need the experience of a relationship to learn from their mistakes. For me personally, I don't feel the need for falling in love unless he's the one I'll spend the rest of my life with. It will be my first time for everything, and I mean everything, and that's ok for me. Sometimes I start to lose faith that he's out there somewhere, but he is and I'll wait.

Switching gears... I finally got a new wallet (and purse!) last weekend and just now got around to doing the full switch of the wallets (the purse will come later... got the essentials transferred, but it's all about the baby steps, Bob. You're so hot if you got that one). As I realized that my Safeway, Alberston's, and Fred Meyer member cards wouldn't be making the switch, my heart jerked a little. Then it was the Spokane Public Library card, the voter's registration card for 8424 N Nevada, Spokane WA, then my Bank of America debit card, and then my last college student ID... I cried. Not a lot, just misty eyed. I couldn't bring myself to throw it all away, so I just put it back in the old wallet.

I looked at that last college ID for awhile. It was taken over a year and a half ago, and as I looked at the unassuming smiling face of a girl completely content to live in Spokane forever I realized that I am not her. I hardly recognize her. She's cute and innocent and looking no farther ahead than student teaching. I, on the other hand, am drawing near to my last quarter in my first year of teaching. I live on the opposite coast, in a completely different demographic.

She's 22 and completely comfortable in the life she's surrounded with. I am 24 (nearly 24 and a half... how many people past 11 still count in half-years? I know, right?) and seeking to change the lives around me, comfortable only with who I am but hungry to be better and more. A better teacher, more in love with Christ. A better friend, more willing to take risks.

She's a girl.

I'm a woman.

On that note... I heard What's Left of Me by Nick Lachey today and somehow it suddenly became the song I immediately downloaded and am listening to on repeat. Yeah, it's purely pop. You know what? I am not ashamed. This woman be rockin' the Lynrd Skynrd, rollin' with Dem Franchise Boys, and doing a little sway to Nick Lachey. If you don't like it, read another blog.

I'm just fine with me. You wouldn't feel the same about me if I weren't, and you know that's right.

Maybe tomorrow I'll find my way home

[Maybe Tomorrow, Stereophonics]

What a weekend. Let's just lay it all down.

Friday
Found out at school that my house was having a party that night. I missed the memo but still found out in time ;) Was surprised by Peter, who had a teacher workday and dropped in for some observations. Some of my boys asked if he was my boyfriend, and when I said no, they replied, "Oh, good, because if was I was going to have to jump him because I thought I was your boyfriend." THAT one caught me so off guard that my face was bright like a tomato the entire time.

So after that fun I got to spend an HOUR IN A STAFF MEETING ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON basically getting chewed out because of what goes on in the school during after school tutoring. It's not really any of the teacher's faults, but kids do what they do in my county (aka sex and drugs) in the school when we're trying to tutor so now the administration is trying to crack down on the "extracurricular" activities... and I don't mean the sports, clubs, or tutoring.

After that I met up with some NW people for dinner at the substandard Mexican place in RoRap. I always feel bad for not liking the food because I am sure the people working there are great... it's just not as good as the Mexican food back home. That's all right though- the company was worth it. Then people came over Friday night, and it mostly consisted of basketball and DDR for me :)

Saturday
I intended to just chill but then Petey and Josh showed up and invited us to go to a market in Carboro (in Chapel Hill) with them. Basically, it's this big whole foods place with free wireless, lots of tables, and many "free spirits" if you will. The day was replete with much work getting done, getting my feet nasty dirty playing frisbee with random little kids, having the BEST EVER chocolate milk, and having a mini-TF*A reunion at the Weaver Market. At one point I counted 18 of us.

I really wanted to go watch the Carolina game versus Boston College (I mean, come on- we were in CHAPEL HILL!) somewhere on Franklin street. That sort of just never happened, but since they lost it was probably for the best. I only live like two and a half hours from Greensboro, where the ACC tourney is held so I'm thinking I need to try and go next year!. We ended up just chilling at the market (as Josh's Jeep Wrangler got absolutely drenched since he didn't bring his windows. The top was on, but no windows. But you can't blame him- it was 80 degrees and clear skies when we set out. Lessons learned, lessons learned. I was in a car with windows so my ride home wasn't too bad ;) and then grabbing dinner and watching the Syracuse-Pitt game at this awesome place called the Carolina Brewery. Highly recommend it. Amazing food, great atmosphere, fair prices, and HUGE TV for basketball watching ;)

After that we just wandered around Fraklin Street before heading home. We were going to spend the night but ended up just coming home... at 3 am. Ouch. It was a late night, but such a great day that it was totally worth it.

Sunday
Woke up a little later than I intended. Five hours of sleep just wasn't happening apparently. Bec and I had an awesome lunch at a new place called The Lakehouse and then had a mini-movie marathon with Petey at the boys' house. We watched Wallace and Gromit (The full-length feature film The Curse of the Were-Rabbit), Crash, and Walk the Line. Crash was even more amazing than the first time if that's possible. It's still at the top of my favorite movies of all time list, though some contest me. It can be mine :) We actually had to stop Walk the Line like 30 minutes before the end which was super lame. It's in my Netflix queue but it says "Long wait". Oh well.

I cut out a little early and missed dinner, and came home to get a little work done and fill out my NCAA brackets. Sadly the Zags only got a #3 seed. BOO! But hopefully we'll do all right. I am really hoping for at least the Elite 8. We caught the last 30 seconds of the Duke/Boston College game and can I just say that I LOVE COLLEGE BASKETBALL!!!!? Yay! Here's to Thursday at 5:20- GO ZAGS!!

That said... it's midnight and I am exhausted.

Leave some comments... or not. Either way, have a lovely week! Only a month til Spring Break! Yay!

I keep this photograph... I know it serves me well

[Broken, Seether feat. Amy Lee]

So...

You see this article (just click it, it's hyperlinked) on ESPN.com, you read it, you see the mention of Gonzaga, Adam Morrison, Dick's Drive-In, and Spokane and you get teary eyed. Not nose-running-wipe-the-snot-on-your-sleeve teary, just... misty.

I just finished a writing great- but FAR MORE TIME CONSUMING THAN I EXPECTED- test. I have hardly slept all week. Working my tail off trying to achieve significant gains. Taught even with a headache that 2,000 mg of Advil in three hours couldn't touch. It's after midnight. My printer just jammed 56 times trying to print my silly test. These are my excuses.

Or... maybe I just miss home sometimes.

It's so me- Gonzaga and sports, and March Madness, finally gets me to admit that though I am in a great place home is home and I miss being there. Doesn't mean I'm going back, mind you. I deal and move on. That, as my kids would say, is just the way I roll.

It's the way I be. Grammatically incorrect, yes, but dealing with issues of the heart can one excuse grammar and speak words reflecting how they really feel? I'm not "am" this way, I "be" this way.

Good night... hopefully I sleep during this one, huh?

Tonight's the night the world begins again

[Better Days, Goo Goo Dolls]

Since I seem to be in list mode... two things:

#1- Gonzaga.

I couldn't write this until the game was over. We won. Barely, but we fought it out. Good thing I am 24 and not 54 because this was the cardiac arrest inducing type of game. There's a lot to say, but I just have to give major props to Ammo (Adam Morrison) because he's honestly a very unselfish player. Tonight I was impressed with his ability to see the floor, and pass off the ball. The fact is, he never shies away from the fact that he wants to be the one with the ball in his hands for that crucial shot. However, he cares far more about seeing his team win than being a hero. So props to him for that.

#2- Teaching.

Today was frustrating. It was a raining and dreary outside (think: Eeyore). I have learned, the hard way, that rainy days = my students want to do NOTHING. They sit there and stare at me. I try to do exciting activities, bring history alive, and they just stare. It's torture, for me and them, I am sure. So today was like that. Then I got this from a parent:

"I think you're an awesome teacher and I want you to know, as parents, we know that you go above and beyond as a rule, rather than an exception... I have a keen appreciation for someone who actually teaches day after day hundreds of students who may or may not want to be in a classroom and who, may or may not have a family at home that cares."

Wow. All I could tell her was thank you, and how incredibly humbled I was. Amazing how a dreary day can burst with sunshine just like that.

Just like that.

The space between your heart and mine

[Space Between, Dave Matthews Band]

So, as I mentioned last night, I am pretty excited that Crash won for best picture. It is, quite simply, the best movie I have ever seen. It's rated R and there are a fair amount of F-bombs dropped. There's also one sex scene that I actually thought it really could have done without, but beyond that it's a simply amazing movie.

It delves into the way we perceive each other, and how we treat one another. It's mostly about race, but it's really about humanity. I highly recommend it to anyone. Literally, I think it's the best movie of all time.

That's all I have to say about that.

On another note- GO ZAGS!!

3 joys... and a 2 sad days

Some of these things were previously mentioned in my last entry, but you'll survive, I promise.

3 Joys:

1- Carolina beat Duke
2- Gonzaga beat USD
3- Crash beat Brokeback

2 Sad days:

1- Republic (my high school) lost the state championship
2- Curlew (close to my high school; bitter archrivals when we play one another, closest friends when we're/they're playing someone else... sort of like siblings :) ) lost the girl's state championship

UPDATE: Shaun Alexander is staying in Seattle!! Yay!! Now that's happy!!

Right here in the light

[Stay, by Jeremy Camp]

Things of note...

... Last night some of the roommates and I went to "the boys" house for the game and a bonfire. It was good times. "The boys" are DK, Dobell, Peter, and Riley. We never actually really hang with Riley, and Peter was in New Hampshire for his "ex-roommate's stepdad's 50th birthday get together". That's per DK. ;)

... The game of which I spoke was the Carolina/Duke game. It was AT Cameron Indoor Stadium (aka Duke) and Carolina won! Go Tar Heels! The predominantly frosh team took Duke to school on Senior night. So that was sweet!

... I had a third cool point but I forgot it. The boys are coming over for dinner tonight, but that's not what it was. Such is life.

Happy Sunday!

Yeah, you know it

Ok, so my high school team (the Republic Tigers in good 'ol Washington state) is known for their basketball prowess. We won state in '97 (My frosh year of high school), then in '04, took fifth last year (we had a bad game that knocked us out of title contention) and tomorrow night we're playing for the state championship again.

Our nearby archrival (yet closest friend so long as we aren't playing each other), Curlew, is playing for the title tomorrow night on the ladies' side. Great stuff.

That said... I just checked up on the Spokesman-Review blog (the local Spokane paper where the State B tourney is held) and guess who was watching our boys play? Derek Raivio and David Pendergraft of Gonzaga. AHHHH!! That's so cool. I've been to state three years in a row, and fairly consistently before that (six of the last nine years) and the ONE year that I can't be there GU players show up? But they were definitely there watching us, sitting on our sidelines.

We rock.

Oh, and check it out at this addy:

http://www.spokesmanreview.com/stateb/2006/blog.asp

If it's hard to find just search for "Raivio". For more on our team, search for Republic. We're all over the pages.

Chickity-China-the-Chinese-chicken

[One Week, by Barenaked Ladies]

So I had my students do a summarizing project on some information we learned about ancient Chinese and Japanese civilizations. They could write a paper, a poem, a rap song, draw a picture, whatever they wanted so long as they demonstrated mastery of the information.

So check this out:

The first emperor of China was Chin
He did what he did
Said what he said
Made all the rules & abided by it
He died in 210 B.C.
Great Wall is a symbol of his mastery
In Japan, warriors use rituals to control society
Samurai had swords that represent your personality
Then along came guns
No full clip
There was no cocking back
There was no 4" 5th
Only drop the gun powder
Aim and pop
The invader just dropped
All cause Samurai aim was good
& they bust a good shot

Two words: Love it :)

Coming out of my cage and I've been doing just fine

[Mr. Brightside, the Killers]

So it's been awhile. There's not really a ton to say on the current events front. Bec and I booked our tickets to Boston for Spring Break, which is pretty thrilling. Now I am pretty much trying not to really think about it so that it won't feel like a lifetime away. That said, there are only 30 student days until Spring Break. Then it's only like 8 full weeks until school's out. Then it's summer, glorious summer!!

I have recently begun listening to The Beatles. I always thought they were too old hat for me. Plus, their sheer popularity tends to be a turn-off for me. Everyone thinks The Beatles are "their" band. I actually had one die-hard fan essentially imply that my lack of knowledge about them should disqualify me from listening to them. I couldn't care less, honestly, because music is the one thing that is extremely personal and it's so vast that no one can really define anyone else's music taste. TV is limited to what's on at the time, but with music a simple internet connection opens up worlds of music to one's fingertips. Genre doesn't matter. Mass market appeal is meaningless.

That's why my music ranges from Jeremy Camp to The Temptations, Pearl Jam to Tim McGraw, 3 Doors Down to Lifehouse, and Better than Ezra to John Mayer. Throw in some Beatles, the Forrest Gump Soundtrack, 80's hits, and you have a glimpse into Tami's Musical Wonderland. No one can tell me who to like, whether a song is good or not, whether a song is too "pop"-ish. Whatever anyone says or thinks doesn't matter because my music is my own. And that's that.


I just hope I marry someone with equal passion for artists I also enjoy, or someone that just doesn't care and lets me control the radio. Or, in my case, digital device streaming through the speakers in the car, computer, house stereo, etc. But it's attractive when someone is into music, to me, so I hope he's just got really good taste according to my standards, which flies in the face of all I said about music being so personal and individual. But in marriage two become one, right? So I am justified in my justification :)